Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Recipe Time: Mom’s Baked Macaroni and Cheese

That’s right, Biters (it’s something new I’m trying out—whaddaya think?), it’s recipe time. This is a recipe that kicks major ass. It’s my Mom’s Baked Macaroni & Cheese. It’s easy to make and full of yumtastic cheesy goodness. First, you’re going to need the ingredients:

32 oz. (2lbs.) of Extra Sharp White Cheddar Cheese. It has to be blocks. You can get multiple blocks or one big badass block. It doesn’t matter to me as long as you use your math to makes sure it adds up to 32 oz.

1½ lbs. Elbow Macaroni

¾ Cup Whole Milk

Butter or Margarine (Whichever You Prefer)

Okay, let’s get started. Cut the cheese blocks into thin slices. You’re giggling right now because I said “Cut the cheese”, aren’t you? C’mon, man, pull yourself together, will ya? We’re cooking here. 

Preheat an oven to 350 degrees. Preferably your own. Showing up at some stranger’s house to preheat their oven is usually frowned upon. Then grab a baking pan. 

Now that's a block of cheese.

Boil and drain the elbow macaroni. Now it’s time to put it together. It’s like arts and crafts with cheese and macaroni. If you have any leftover, feel free to make a necklace. 

Yes , I know you want to eat it but you need it so control yourself.

Is it butter? Is it margarine? It's up to you. Just add the damn thing.

Layer the baking pan with cheese, then elbow macaroni, then a tablespoon of butter or margarine. Repeat each step until the pan is full. Then top it off with a layer of cheese. This is muy important! If you top it with macaroni, then you won’t have the crispy, cheesy top. 

And believe me, people, you want the crispy, cheesy top. It’s like crack. Except you won’t end up in rehab bunking with some delusional celebrity who won’t let you use the payphone in the hall because they’re waiting for Oprah to call. (Never gonna happen, celeb dude. Dr. Phil, maybe, but not the Big O.)

Top. It. With. Cheese.

Put the baking pan on a cookie sheet. Slowly pour  ¾ cup of whole milk in the center so it evenly distributes throughout the pan. See? This is why you’re using the cookie sheet. If the pan overflows, the cookie sheet catches the drippage. Because nobody likes drippage. Just ask your nose. 

Pour the milk down the middle. Don't spill!

Throw that bad boy into the oven. Well, don’t throw it. You’re not a savage. Bake approximately 45 minutes to an hour until the top layer of cheese is the aforementioned crispy. Then get your yum on.

Dig that crispy, cheesy top. 

Is that amazing or what? Be careful. Don’t burn your tongue. Then you’ll have that weird-ass tingly sensation in your mouth all night. I hate that. 

This dish is so awesome it makes that box mac & cheese its bitch. Seriously. While you’re enjoying Mom’s Baked Macaroni and Cheese, that box mac & cheese is picking up its dry cleaning and shopping for its groceries.

So go ahead and give the box stuff the night off.  Then chillax and trip the light cheesetastic.

Don't you wish this was going on your plate right now?

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